God knows what he's doing right?

Sometimes I have to question if I even show up on his radar. Maybe I just need to go higher... be closer.. then maybe I would be heard. Seen. Helped.

I am incredibly overwhelmed.  I just need one friend, one person,  who can just tell me it's all going to be okay.

It breaks me every extra day that I spend here. It's an uncontrollable sadness and hurt.

The fake smiles that once came so easy are far and few between now.
How do people live like this?
How can anyone Go everyday living a lie and never break?
How can they watch the person they love break their heart and continue to stay?

I tried for so long... seems like forever... and there is no way I can make it any longer.

It is heartbreaking when you look at your relationship only to find you were the only one trying.  Only one giving.  Only one caring. The only one wanting it to work out. Attempting to salvage what the other person clearly already knew was not salvageable. Because how can you salvage what is not there?

I would of given anything.... In almost 8 years I have nothing to show.. nothing to take. Nothing left to give.