For the first time in 9 years I have taken time to find the real me. The part of me that has likes and dislikes. The part of me that has thoughts outside of her kids. Don't get me wrong I adore my children with all of my heart and I do not have any regrets of giving them all of me for the past many years. I do have to admit that I have enjoyed finding myself again. I forgot how kind, compassionate, creative and strong I am.
I started running a few months back as just a way to get through time and feel better about myself.
However, since around Thanksgiving I have become obsessed. I ran my first 5k last week and am training for a 10k in the very near future. I've become so obsessed that I practically have to force myself to have a rest day. This is a good thing and a bad thing. I love that I have an outlet for my thoughts. I love that my body is becoming stronger. I love that I can feel myself becoming a more determined person. Flip side to the coin is.. I hate that when I miss a day I become so incredibly sad. I had to have a rest day. My body demanded it. So I complied. The beginning of the day wasn't bad but by the end I had enough. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry. I hate this. What have I become? True, I have a great deal on my mind these days but it truly is awful to feel like the only way to be normal is to run until I can't take another step.
My mind, body and heart will someday be on the same page. They will work in unison and I can not wait. I look forward to that happiness. The contentment. Just the thought makes me smile.
*Tiffany*
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