Life is difficult.
Even for those whom never deal with struggles.
The mere presence of ones physical being on Earth will produce:
Heartache.
Devastation.
Grief.
Happiness.
Worry.
Delight.
Anger.
Bitterness.
Devotion.
Hope.
Well you get it.. the list goes on and on.
I find myself quite often wishing for this life to end.
Knowing that the very little happiness and joy I have encountered is only that...
VERY LITTLE.
I have to ask, pray and request a small miracle everyday to keep me content here.
In this life.
In my small tormented hell.
Forever doomed to live a despairing life.
Do not get me wrong now...
My four precious children are my everything.
I would literally do anything to keep them at their happiest.
I suppose I already have been.
Putting them before every decision I make.
Before every temptation.
Every want, wish and desire.
If I must lead them to happiness through example..
I will gladly do so.
A smile on my face and a tear in my heart perhaps...
It would be absolutely worth it if it meant sparing them from harm.
My heart has been so unhappy for so long...
I am not sure of what true, ever flowing and filling happiness is.
Surely I would delight in the thought of obtaining it if I could remember the feeling.
Every life is difficult.
It is the choice of staying and seeing it through that will lead you to..
Happiness?
Peace?
Fulfillment?
One can only hope.
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